Dr. Laurence Steinberg’s book “The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting” is the inspiration for these excellent parenting suggestions. Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology Laurence Steinberg’s excellent work on parenting is grounded in the best social science research of the past seventy-five years. In his opinion, if you adhere to them, you may prevent many common forms of child misbehavior. What exactly are you trying to accomplish while working with kids, anyway? To establish dominance, perhaps? The purpose of which is to strike terror into the hearts of the people? Or, to aid the youngster’s maturation into a respectable, secure person?
Many parents make decisions based on emotion rather than reason. Steinberg, though, argues that some parents simply have superior intuition than others. He advises against ever hitting a child, even a toddler, telling WebMD that even a light slap on the bottom can cause lasting damage. You can grab and hold your child if he or she is running into the street, but you should never hit them.
Clinical paediatrics professor at the University of Miami, Ruby Natale PhD, PsyD, agrees wholeheartedly. She contributed some of her own observations as well. It’s common for people to resort to the same methods of discipline that their own parents did, she says. According to Steinberg, children whose parents exhibit these qualities—compassion, honesty, independence, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and positivity—are more likely to flourish. Both an interest in the wider world and a desire to do well in one’s endeavours are encouraged. It is a prophylactic measure for concerns in young people such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, antisocial behaviour, and substance abuse.
“Parenting is one of the most explored issues in the entire field of social science,” says Steinberg, a prominent professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia. He went on to say that there is “very, very consistent” scientific proof for his ideas.
Natale emphasises that children’s actions, especially behavioural issues, are a reflection of the quality of the parent-child bond. “If you and your child don’t get along, it will be impossible for you to exert any kind of influence over them. Take into account your interactions with mature people. If you get along well with someone, you are more likely to respect their judgement and accept their recommendations. If the person disagreeing with us is someone we fundamentally disagree with, we will just disregard their viewpoint.”
Steinberg claims that his ten guidelines are useful for any adult working with children, including coaches, teachers, and babysitters.
Positive Parenting: 10 Essentials
Your actions have significance.
The key principle, as stated by Steinberg. “Your actions have an impact. Your children are noticing you keenly. Do not over react. Think to yourself, “What do I want to achieve, and will this get me there?””
It’s impossible to show too much compassion.
You can’t “spoil” a kid with love, he says. Love never spoils a child. Typically, this happens when parents substitute forbearance, lesser standards, or material items for genuine affection when raising a child.”
Take a participatory role in your kid’s life.
Parents must prioritize their children and everything related to them. The demands of your child must often come before your own desires. Don’t just show up; bring your whole self.”
Participating does not entail doing, reading, or correcting a child’s schoolwork. Steinberg opined that homework is a tool for teachers to determine whether or not a student is learning in class. Doing the homework is like telling the teacher you have no interest in what your child is studying.
Adjust your approach to parenting based on your kid.
Don’t fall behind the curve as your kid grows up. Your kid is getting older. Think about how the kid’s age might be influencing their conduct. The need for autonomy that has your three-year-old consistently saying “no” is also driving his desire to be toilet trained, as noted by Steinberg. Your daughter, age 13, is going through a period of cerebral development that is making her more inquisitive and inquiring in the classroom, but it is also making her more combative at the dinner table. For instance: An eighth-grader has a short attention span and a short fuse. They are having academic difficulties. In other words, they’re constantly arguing. Should parents be more encouraging, or more patient, to prevent their children’s self-esteem from taking a hit? “The problem might be a number of things with a 13-year-old,” Steinberg adds. It’s possible he’s not getting enough rest. Has he been up too late? It’s possible he only needs some guidance setting up study time in his schedule. Perhaps he has trouble learning. You won’t solve the problem by pressuring him to improve. Expert diagnosis of the issue is required.”
Take charge, make decisions, and establish guidelines.
Managing the conduct of your child is important, otherwise, child can lack self control on growing as a adult. You should constantly know the answers to these three questions: What time is it? What day is it? and Where is my child? Who is my kid’s babysitter? Can you tell me what my kid is up to? Your youngster will apply the standards he learnt from you.” Steinberg elaborates, saying, “But you can’t micromanage your child.” Having your child do their own schoolwork and make their own decisions without interference is essential as they reach middle school.
Encourage your kid to strike off on their own.
“Your child’s ability to self-regulate will improve if you set limitations for him or her. She will learn to take charge of her own life with the support of your encouragement of independence. She’ll need them both if she wants to make it in the world.”
According to Steinberg, children’s attempts to assert their independence are perfectly natural. “Many parents incorrectly view their child’s desire for autonomy as a sign of defiance or disobedience. It’s human nature to prefer feeling in charge than feeling dominated, which is why children strive for autonomy.”
Always act in the same way.
“Your child’s bad behaviour is not his, but yours, if the rules you set for him are inconsistent and/or you only enforce them sometimes. Consistency will be your most effective tool in enforcing discipline. It’s important to know what you won’t budge on. Your youngster is less likely to question your authority if it is founded on knowledge rather than force.”
Steinberg elaborated that many parents struggle with being consistent. “Children can become perplexed when their parents’ actions and words are inconsistent. You need to put in more effort to be regular.”
Avoid using corporal punishment.
Under no circumstances is it acceptable for a parent to physically discipline their child. According to his research, “children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more likely to fight with other children.” “As a group, they are more prone to engage in bullying behavior and resort to physical violence when a disagreement arises. There is substantial proof that spanking makes kids aggressive, which can disrupt their friendships “. “‘Time out’ is just one of many effective and nonviolent methods of child discipline.”
Clarify your policies and judgments number
“Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to,” he writes. “In general, parents are guilty of overexplaining to young children and underexplaining to teenagers. A child of 12 years old may not share your perception of what is obvious. He does not share your values, perspective, or life experience.”
Case in point: In class, a 6-year-old who is both bright and active often answers questions without thinking them through, doesn’t give other students enough time to speak, and dominates the conversation. The issue of his childish behaviour needs to be addressed by his teacher. Steinberg advises him to have a chat with the kid about it. “It could be beneficial for parents to consult with teachers to formulate a plan. That kid must learn to wait for others to answer before speaking.”
Be respectful to your kid
The best approach to teach your child respect is to show him respect, as Steinberg puts it. “As a parent, you should treat your child with the same respect you would extend to a stranger. Do your best to be cordial with him. Pay attention to what he has to say. You should listen carefully as he is explaining something to you. Be courteous toward him. Make an effort to win his approval whenever possible. How one’s parents treat them has a profound impact on how they treat others. If you have a strong relationship with your child, she will have a strong foundation from which to build her friendships and romantic partnerships.”
And the meltdown in the checkout line is something that can be prevented. Children thrive in organized environments. Don’t even think of going shopping without first prepping them for the experience. We’ll be there in 45 minutes, so please let them know. We have to ask Mommy to buy this. They should be given a copy of the list. They will feel bored, fatigued, and irritated by the throngs of people if they aren’t prepared.”
Many parents fail to give any thought to, much less appreciate, their children. You put in effort into mature connections like friendships and marriage. However, how would you describe your bond with your kid? What matters most is that you and your child have a strong connection and you know each other well. There will be no need to worry about any of this then.”