child aggressionParentingtantrumsToddler Tantrums

Dealing with Toddler Temper Tantrums: Essential Tips


Toddler Tantrums

As a parent, nothing is more frustrating than dealing with a toddler’s tantrum in public. This article will help you understand the reasoning behind your child’s tantrums around age 2, and provide advice on how to handle the terrible twos in a way that promotes healthy growth in your child.

An emotional outburst characterized by extreme displays of wrath, grief, disappointment, and extreme impatience is a tantrum. Emotional outbursts in toddlers at the age of 2 can cause them to cry, thrash, scream, punch their parents, fall down, kick, bite, hurl things, smash their heads, or hold their breath. The terrible twos is a quaint name for this age.


It’s not easy to keep your cool when your child is throwing a tantrum and you feel like joining in. Turn Off the Tantrums and Create Cooperation. Meltdowns are dreadful, nasty things, but they’re a feature of childhood. Children under the age of four, in particular, lack the requisite coping mechanisms. In most cases, they simply snap.


Finding the cause of your toddler’s tantrums and keeping your own emotions in check are both crucial if your child is at that age. Read on for some helpful hints on how to handle a toddler’s tantrum and some explanations for its occurrence.


Reasons for a Mood Swing

Tantrums are common among toddlers aged 1-2 because they are trying to express something they are unable to speak aloud, such as a desire for more milk, a diaper change, or the presence of a certain object. It’s frustrating for them when you don’t acknowledge what they’re “saying.”


Tantrums are more of a power struggle for older toddlers. By the time a child reaches the ages of three or four, “they have grown more autonomous. They are self-aware, and they seek to make their wants and needs known.


Even though your child can communicate with you better now that they’re in preschool, that doesn’t mean the temper tantrums are finished. As they are still developing emotional regulation skills, even a seemingly insignificant quarrel can swiftly spiral out of control. As your child develops a greater sense of autonomy, they may experience increased frustration when they require assistance. Some people completely lose it when they attempt anything difficult, like tying their shoes, and find they need help from another person.


Helpful to keep in mind that temper tantrums are not necessarily a result of poor parenting. They are, in fact, an important part of a child’s growth and development. Tantrums teach children to cope with their unpleasant feelings. “Children’s overstimulation might lead to a meltdown as they try to cope with their newfound freedom.” You are the one they expect to come get them when that time comes.


 Gentle Parenting Techniques 

Handling a Toddler’s Temper Tantrum

Although there is no one best approach to handle a toddler’s tantrum, most professionals can agree on what doesn’t help. In addition to being ineffective, techniques like yelling, spanking, or hitting (of any type), pleading, and giving in, are all on the “don’t” list. Rewarding the tantrum, can lead to more of the same behavior. No matter how outraged they are, children must learn that “no” means “no.”


Parents who respond calmly and consistently to their toddler’s outbursts help their child understand where the boundaries are, which can make the youngster feel more secure and in charge. Discipline should be based on the child’s actions, not personal attacks. In response, many would respond, “That’s unrealistic.” To avoid yelling at coworkers is an admirable goal, but it is not an impossible one. We owe it to our kids to treat them no worse than we do our coworkers.”



When your own child throws a tantrum, do you wish you had some advice on how to handle it? Try some of these strategies to calm down during that emotional breakdown.


Deal with acts of aggression right away

To what extent does your child resort to physical violence (such as punching, kicking, biting, or throwing objects) while they are having a meltdown? Remove them from the situation quickly and put a stop to it. Remind them that they can feel whatever they want, but they can’t act on it by hurting themselves or others. To put it bluntly, I will not take a hit from you.” Or: “You’re frustrated because your block tower collapsed. No worries there. Tossing your blocks, however, is not acceptable.”


Try to maintain your composure while being forceful. There should be no tolerance for aggression.


Avoid shouting

Never forget that your kid will do whatever you do when it comes to managing anger. If you shout, they will raise their volume to match yours because they secretly enjoy having meaningful conversations with you. Keeping your cool in the middle of chaos may need you to accept the fact that they are experiencing strong negative emotions.


It’s human nature to occasionally yell, in which case it’s essential to apologize and request a do-over “I’m sorry if I sounded angry toward you. Sorry about that. I don’t want to have this conversation with you like that. May we begin again?” Make the kinds of mistakes and accept the consequences that you hope your child will make. No one is without flaws.


Allow your child to experience feelings

It’s healthy for a child’s emotional development to vent their frustrations now and again. Just let them! 


This approach is really helpful for teaching kids to tackle their emotions in positive ways. Without resorting to a shouting match or test of wills with you, they are able to vent their emotions, collect themselves, and regain composure.”


Remember to pay attention: Support them and act as an example of composure in tense situations. The goal is not to prevent your child from feeling their emotions but to provide a safe, accepting environment in which they can do so.


Be selective in your conflicts

If you want to get what you want, it may be best to compromise a little now and again. You should only keep an eye on the scales. If you use this approach too often, you risk rewarding the tantrum behavior.


However, there are situations where giving in a little bit is acceptable. For example, instead of resorting to bribery (“I’ll give you ice cream if you stop weeping!”), you could agree to play the same song over and over again if your child asks if you can please play it during the vehicle ride.


The use of concise directives

Many temper tantrums can be avoided with clear, concise, and direct instructions. Clearer instructions (“Don’t hit the dog”) are easier to follow. If your child is in a bad mood, try giving them a specific task to perform, such as “Let’s color,” rather than a general command like “Be good.” Altering one’s environment can also have a positive impact.


Distract them

Children have pretty short attention spans, making them easy to distract. When your child is going to lose it at the grocery store because you won’t give in and buy the sugary cereal, try shifting gears and saying something like, “I’m so glad you asked! “Oh, man, I think we should get some ice cream. Do you fancy assisting me in making a flavour selection?” or “Hey, have you seen that aquarium full of lobsters?”


Embrace them with open heart

You might not want to do this if your child is having a tantrum, It can help them calm down. When I say “hug,” I mean a huge, solid embrace, not a soft, squishy one. And keep quiet while you’re doing it; otherwise, you’ll just be engaging in a pointless power struggle. Even if you don’t agree with a child’s behavior, a hug can still show them that you care and put them at ease.”


Ease annoyance

Does your little child make a lot of noise when you try to put shoes on them? Assist them in becoming proficient at that activity so that they can replace their frustration with a sense of achievement. Acknowledge their want to do something risky, such as climbing a ladder, but reaffirm the rule: “I know you want to climb up high, but that’s not allowed.” Attempt an alternate explanation, such as “You may use the slide ladder at the park.”


Put things in a different order

Pick up your child and quietly take them somewhere safe if they’re having a meltdown in public. Let them cool off in the car or a public restroom. After you get there, calmly explain your plight. It’s amazing how much comfort a little touch can provide to a distressed child.



Ask for their “assistance”

Make sure your kid has eaten and rested well before taking them food shopping. Take along a book or toy that encourages participation and then let them help you decide what to choose at the store. Keep paper and a pen on you at all times so that you can jot down the products they recommend.


At the store’s final stop, read back some of their healthier food options and let them choose just a couple items. Making a list will keep them busy, make them feel like they’re contributing, and motivate them to reach the end goal by promising a reward.


Warn in advance

Preschoolers are easily shocked. Avoid an explosive situation the next time you are going to leave the park or a friend’s house by giving them plenty of notice. Knowing what will happen next will bring them peace of mind.


You can have them ride their scooters around the park twice more before you have to bring them inside. In comparison to “You can ride your scooter for five minutes,” this provides kids a sense of empowerment. Most toddlers can’t keep track of time, so it comes as a surprise when it’s time to leave.


Take it in stride

The stress of a public tantrum may lead some parents to cave in an effort to avoid embarrassment, but doing so merely teaches children that they can get away with it in the future. Kids, even very young ones, are brilliant. They will learn that it works if you get angry or stressed out and give in to their demands in order to halt the meltdown before more people start staring.


You should just grit your teeth, put on your best smile, and act like everything is OK. In addition, what do you suppose the rest of the people think? People just evaluate your reaction to the meltdown. When a child is having a tantrum, people will assume you have everything under control if you maintain an air of composure, “Now that’s a good parent,” even if you’re not actually doing anything to stop the tantrum.


Continue to insist on what you want

Reiterate the request that caused the tantrum once the storm has passed. If they were having a tantrum when you asked them to pick a toy, they need to learn to control their emotions and do what they were instructed. If they lost it because you wouldn’t give them a cookie, then you shouldn’t give it to them even after they stop crying. Praise your child when he or she does what you’ve asked. After all, you want them to keep doing that good stuff!


Get Over It

It’s surprising how quickly and easily many kids can recover after a temper tantrum. After it’s over, you should reassure your kid that you love them with a kiss and a hug and then go on. Focusing on the outburst will just make them feel worse, and it could potentially spark another tantrum.


Wait a few hours if you wish to bring it up with your young three to four years old child. Then, inquire as to what triggered your child’s outburst, and work with him or her to develop strategies for dealing with such situations in the future.

Don’t take it personally when someone throws a tantrum.

Don’t beat yourself up or feel helpless because your kid has a tantrum. Even while it’s upsetting to hear your toddler express their anger by saying, “I hate you,” it’s vital to keep in mind that their words and actions are more of a reflection of their own dissatisfaction than of any animosity they may have toward you. Tantrums pass and all of it will soon be a distant memory for your kid. Make sure you don’t hold onto it, either.


To say that dealing with your toddler’s tantrums is trying would be an understatement. Keep in mind that these things are difficult for your youngster as well. Many times, your toddler is simply expressing their feelings and has no idea how else to express their distress. Instead of seeing tantrums as a sign of behavioral issues, try to see them as teachable moments and moments when your kid needs more of your attention.

Read these recommended books on parenting for more knowledge.

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