One of the most hotly contested discussions about parenting is whether or not to spank children. The vast majority of parents worldwide admit to spanking their children, despite the fact that the vast majority of pediatricians and parenting professionals do not support spanking.
Many parents believe that spanking is the most efficient and immediate technique to alter their child’s behavior. And it does work, at least temporarily. However, research shows that kids who are physically punished suffer long-term effects.
Alternative Discipline Strategies
Here are some alternatives to physical punishment that you can try if you’re seeking for a technique to discipline your child other than spanking.
Taking away privileges
The point isn’t to scare your kid into submission, but rather to teach them to be more responsible in the future. To achieve this, though, requires time and effort. Show them that the loss of a privilege is the price they must pay for making a bad decision. The punishment must be appropriate for the offence.
Clearly define a timeframe for regaining access
In most cases, a day is all it takes for a child to learn from their mistakes. To motivate them to pick up their toys the first time you ask, you could say something like, “You’ve lost TV for the rest of the day, but you can earn it back tomorrow.” Time-Out
Hitting children as a form of discipline (particularly for acts of violence) is a double-edged sword
Your youngster may question why you can hit them but they can’t hit their sibling. It may be preferable to use time-out as a disciplinary tool when dealing with a child. 1 An effective time-out routine can help children learn a skill that will serve them well throughout their lives: how to relax when they feel their emotions rising.
Children require frequent, pleasant interactions with their parents for time-outs to have any effect. Then, once they’re out of harm’s way, they can start to develop the skills they need to manage their emotions, communicate them effectively, and make better decisions in the future.
Apathy Towards Minor Misbehavior
Sometimes it’s more efficient to just ignore a problem rather to swat it.
This is not an excuse for turning a blind eye to your child’s risky or inappropriate behaviour. The thing to do with attention-seeking conduct is to ignore it.
You shouldn’t reward your youngster for trying to obtain your attention by negative means, such as whining or complaining. Turn your back, as like you can’t hear them, and don’t engage with them. Then, give it back to them when they ask politely or act appropriately. They’ll eventually figure out that being courteous gets them what they want faster than any other tactic.
Training New Abilities
A major drawback of spanking is that it does not teach a youngster to control his or her behaviour. A child who has been spanked for throwing a tantrum will not learn to control their emotions in the future.
Teaching children to solve problems, control their emotions, and reach agreements is a valuable life skill. Parental instruction in these areas has been shown to significantly lessen disciplinary issues. Instead of punishing your child, try discipline that will help them learn.
Consequences that Make Sense
If your child has a specific behaviour problem, logical consequences are a terrific method to help. Consequences follow naturally from the wrongdoing.
If your child doesn’t eat dinner, for instance, they shouldn’t be given a snack before bed. Either have them pick up their trucks immediately, or take them away from them for the day if they refuse. Connecting the do-over to the specific misbehaviour issue helps kids understand that their actions have real-world repercussions.
Consequences of Nature
It is via the use of natural consequences that youngsters are able to learn from their mistakes. If your child insists they do not want to wear a jacket, and it is safe to do so, you should respect their wishes and allow them to experience the cold. If you believe that your child will learn from their own mistakes, then you can use natural consequences. Keeping an eye on things will help you make sure your kid is safe.
Children should be rewarded for excellent behaviour rather than punished for misbehaving. Set up a reward system to encourage your youngster to get along better with his or her siblings, for instance, if they tend to argue frequently.
Motivating someone to change their behaviour quickly is possible by rewarding it. Reward systems divert children’s attention away from the undesirable actions they’re encouraged to refrain from and toward the positive actions that will earn them positive reinforcement.
Positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior
If you catch your youngster acting good, you can head off future behavioral issues.
Give them praise when they’re doing something good, like playing peacefully with their siblings. Praise their turn-taking and sharing by saying, “You’re doing great today!”
Children learn best by imitation, so when they are praised for obeying or performing well, they are more likely to emulate that conduct in the future. In addition, praise motivates them to practise self-control. Praise is free, and if you prefer to treat them, you can do anything from read them a bedtime story to letting them spend time with a special family or neighbour.
Keep your voice down and don’t yell at kids
Instead of complying out of fear or intimidation, it is preferable for youngsters to do what they are told because they understand the reasoning behind it.
Try describing kids with positive language
Name-calling, insults, and humiliation directed at children as a form of punishment or during an argument can have a negative impact on a kid’s sense of self-worth and could end up becoming self-fulfilling. A youngster may give up on itself if they are repeatedly told negative things, such as, “You are just lazy/stupid/fat/bad.”
Treat others with deference
Respect for all people, particularly children, is essential. A youngster who is treated with dignity and respect will respond with dignity and possibly openness, even when being disciplined.
Come to an agreement
There is a common worry among parents and caregivers that if they give in even once, the child will learn to consistently take advantage of them. However, it’s always a good idea to reevaluate your position and ask, “How significant is this? Is there any risk to the kid’s wellbeing? Could I make a compromise without causing any harm? Is this something that will still matter in the next decade?
Make use of counselling and guiding techniques
It is easier to utilise guidance and counselling techniques with older children. If necessary, involve an older family member or community member that the youngster respects greatly and with whom the child shares a unique bond. To mitigate the bad impacts on your child’s conduct, have this individual talk to your child about the consequences and set clear boundaries for appropriate behaviour.
Explicit instruction is unnecessary for the development of learning in children
Hand the kid something to do that won’t hurt them, ideally something that relates to the wrongdoing. A child who is made to clean up after breaking or soiling anything is less likely to do it again in the future.
Boundary-Setting: Educating Oneself on What Is and Is Not Acceptable Behavior
It’s not uncommon for adults to discipline a youngster for “bad behaviour,” only to find out later that the kid was just acting his or her age. That’s why it’s crucial for parents to be able to identify good behaviour in their kids so they can discipline them appropriately. Furthermore, successful discipline requires the establishment of unambiguous rules that children can easily grasp and follow. Take the initiative and set a good example.
Swearing and other foul words should not be used, just as you should not allow a child to do so. Just do what you say you’re going to do!
If a baby cries because he or she is hungry, or a toddler rushes out in front of automobiles, neither should be punished because both behaviours are typical for their age groups. Remove all potential sources of harm, such as making sure your infant is out of reach of the fire and the paraffin bottle, and always keeping your youngster close by your side when you’re out in public places like streets or sidewalks.
When there are multiple kids in a room, focus on and praise the ones that are behaving themselves and following the rules. Give the other kid some attention and praise when they start acting well, too.
Reasons why it’s wrong to use force when disciplining
That it’s fine to hurt other people is a message it sends to youngsters.
Children often take cues from their elders on appropriate social behaviour and may internalise the boundaries between appropriate and inappropriate actions.
Parent-child and teacher-student bonds are weakened
It is crucial that kids know they can trust their parents and instructors to provide a safe environment free from harm.
Abusive physical punishment puts a strain on the partnership
Children may develop low self-esteem and a negative sense of who they are as a result of believing that they deserve to be hurt. In some cases, kids can develop a fear of or anxiety about grownups. Also, they could come across as hostile, uncooperative, and resentful.
It could cause real harm to youngsters
It’s possible that some kids were permanently damaged from being shaken or getting hit in the head, and that others lost their hearing as a result. Internal organs can be harmed with blows, and bones can be broken from being twisted.
It’s a slippery slope to violence
Abusing a youngster physically normalises the idea that it is fine to inflict pain on others. It’s easy for parents and instructors to go over the line they’ve drawn when they’re upset or irritated. The child could get gravely wounded if the “smack” escalates into a “blow” or “beating.” To avoid potential danger, it is best to establish limits that encourage a kind of discipline that does not involve hitting or smacking.
For the long haul, it fails
Because it does not alter the child’s core beliefs, causing them pain is not an effective method of long-term behavior modification. Instead of learning self-control, the youngster learns permissiveness, how to react to the control of others, or how to lie and cover up their wrongdoing to avoid punishment.
It’s bad for kids’ growth and development
Young people who are unhappy, confused, anxious, or furious are unable to focus on the work or play that is necessary for them to reach their full potential. Children who are disciplined in non-physical ways at home tend to have higher academic outcomes than their peers whose parents resort to physical punishment. One reason for this is because kids raised by parents who employ constructive forms of discipline are more likely to develop strong interpersonal and problem-solving abilities.
Do you think you need to read some books on parenting? Read these books.