Every parent has to deal with the challenge of figuring out the most effective means of child discipline at some point. It’s challenging to keep calm while dealing with a yelling child or a frustrated teenager. Despite the fact that no parent ever plans to use it, yelling and physical force are never effective solutions to a child’s behavioral problems.
Why it is important to discipline your children?
Parents typically avoid using harsh language or physical punishment with their children. The pressure is too much, and we feel like there’s no other option.
The use of physical force, such as shouting or punching, is counterproductive and may even make things worse. Abuse such as yelling at and beating a child on a regular basis can have lasting effects. The toxic stress it causes can have far-reaching consequences, including increased risk for dropping out of school, depression, substance abuse, suicide, and cardiovascular disease.
It’s the same as giving someone medicine and telling them it won’t cure them but will make them sick. When we find out that a strategy has failed, we have ample reason to start looking for alternatives.
The positive discipline strategy emphasizes on a strong relationship with your child and establishing clear behavioral standards rather than focusing on punishment and what not to do. The good news is that it works, and here’s how any parent can put it into practice right away:
Tips to Discipline your Child
Schedule some one-on-one time
Spending quality time together as a family, and especially with your children, is crucial. This time period need only be 20 minutes daily. Or even just 5 You can pair it with another activity, like singing and washing the dishes or talking as you dry the clothes. Spending time with your child should be your top priority. As a result, you silence the TV and put away your phone and stoop down to their height so that it’s just the two of you.
Gratitude for the good
As parents, we have a tendency to highlight and criticize our children’s negative actions. In an effort to get you to pay attention to them, some kids may read this, but it may only encourage them to continue doing badly.
Praise is like food for children. It shows how much you care for them and shows them how valuable they are to you. Make a point of noticing when they’re behaving well and giving them some positive reinforcement, even if it’s something as simple as spending five minutes playing with a sibling. If done correctly, this can promote positive conduct and lessen the need for punishment.
Establish firm goals
Instructing a youngster in the positive behavior you want them to adopt is more successful than discouraging undesirable actions. It’s not always clear to a young child what is expected of them when they are told not to create a mess or to be good. Direct requests, such as “Please pick up all of your sports goods and put them in the drawer,” create a definite outcome and improve compliance. Still, one must ensure that reasonable expectations are maintained. The daylong request for silence might be too much to handle, but getting them to remain quiet for 10 minutes so you can make a phone call would be doable. You are the best judge of your child’s abilities. Of course, if you expect the unachievable, you should not be surprised when they fall short.
One can learn from anyone’s mistakes, including their own
If you feel completely out of control as a parent, remind yourself that you can put yourself in time out. After making sure your kid is safe, you can take a big breath, relax, or talk to a friend for a while. When you’re ready, go back to your kid, give each other a big hug, and try again.
It is best not to stress over something that you failed to deal with properly the first time around. It’s important to reflect on your mistakes and learn from them for the future. After you have calmed down, apologize to your child if you feel you have made a genuine error in how you handled the issue and explain how you will proceed in the future. Maintain your word. Your youngster can learn from seeing how you deal with setbacks in the same way.
Distracting your youngster from their troublesome behavior with something more enjoyable can be helpful. By changing the subject, starting a game, moving them to a new area, or taking them for a walk, you may redirect their attention and energy in a good direction.
It’s also important to get the timing right. In addition to diverting attention, you must also be able to anticipate problems and take corrective measures. By keeping an eye out for signs that your child is becoming restless, impatient, or annoyed, or if his or her sibling is doing the same, you can prevent a potential conflict from escalating.
Apply mild repercussions
As you become older, you begin to grasp the concept that actions have consequences. Clearly outlining these expectations for your child is an easy way to foster improved conduct while simultaneously teaching them about the importance of taking personal responsibility.
Explain the results of his or her actions and give your child an opportunity to make amends. If you want your kid to quit scribbling on the walls, for instance, you might threaten to end playtime if they don’t. This serves as both a cautionary tale and a window of opportunity for them to alter their ways.
You should be proud of yourself for handling the situation calmly and not losing your cool as they continued to resist the repercussions. But it’s not a piece of cake!
If they do stop, make sure they know how much you appreciate it. What you’re doing is giving your kid a never-ending cycle of good fortune. Children can learn valuable lessons about the consequences of their actions when those consequences are delivered calmly and consistently.
For positive parenting to take place, consistency is essential, and that includes carrying out the consequences that have been established. Also, realism is important. Taking a teen’s phone away for a week could be a tough sell, but doing so for an hour is easy.
Spending time with someone one-on-one can be entertaining, and it costs nothing.
You can mimic their facial expressions, make noise with pots and pans, or sing a duet. Incredible new studies demonstrate that playing with your kids actually helps them learn and grow smarter.
Taking an Interest in Older Kids
Teenagers, like smaller children, desire to be liked and admired. Still, they value personal interactions with others. They really like it if you join them in a round of dancing or a discussion on their preferred musical artist. They might not always show it, but they care. Plus, it’s a great opportunity to get to know them on their own terms while fostering a strong bond.
Ask them for their input when establishing ground rules. Initiate a discussion on the rules of the house and see if they can be agreed upon. They can also have a say in determining the repercussions of bad behavior. Participating shows them that you value the fact that they are developing into unique individuals.
Suggestions for Age-Appropriate Discipline
Babies learn via observing their caregivers, so it’s important to model the actions you want to see from them.
Speak to your child just in encouraging words. Instead of telling someone to “don’t stand,” you could say, “Time to sit.”
Never say “no” about something until it’s absolutely necessary, like your own safety. Reducing the frequency with which you have to say “no” can be achieved by making potentially harmful or attractive items inaccessible.
At this stage, it’s best to divert a child’s attention and then quickly replace a potentially harmful or forbidden item with one that is acceptable plaything.
Babies, like other children, require continuous discipline; therefore, it is important to discuss guidelines with your partner, family, and child care provider.
Your youngster is developing an understanding of right and wrong and may try out some rules to see how you react. Focus on the good and encourage it, while ignoring the bad and punishing it. If necessary, switch gears to a new undertaking.
As your child learns and practices new abilities and navigates new circumstances, you may notice an increase in tantrums. If you know that your child’s temper tantrums are likely to be triggered by things like fatigue or hunger, you can assist prevent them by giving them a nap or feeding them at the appropriate times.
If you want to raise a respectful and kind child, you need to instill in him or her a lack of aggression. Instead of spanking your child, provide an example of nonviolence by learning to resolve conflicts peacefully with your partner.
Never waver in your stance of strict limit enforcement. If you feel like you need to, try calling a little time out.
Recognize that your siblings are fighting, but stay neutral. If a fight breaks out over a toy, for instance, it can be hidden away until the dust settles.
Children in their Early Years of Schooling
Young children in the preschool years are still developing an understanding of cause and effect. Even as they grow and mature, children will test the limitations set by their parents and siblings. Take these important measures.
· Start them off with simple tasks like putting their toys away when they’re old enough. Clearly outline the steps that need to be taken. Acknowledge their efforts and reward them with high praise.
· Give your child the freedom to select from a menu of appropriate activities while simultaneously redirecting and imposing reasonable limitations.
· Instill in your child the value of treating others how she would like to be treated.
· Make it clear that anger is a normal human emotion, but it should never be used destructively. Instruct them on healthy strategies for coping with anger, such as having open conversations about it.
· Use time-outs or get rid of what’s causing the fight.
Children in elementary school
It seems like your kid is developing a moral compass. Discuss the several paths forward available to them in trying circumstances, including the potential consequences of each.
· Discuss what is expected of everyone and what the repercussions will be for breaking the rules.
· Give children a healthy mix of freedom and responsibility by allowing them greater freedom in exchange for good behavior.
· Maintain your role as a teacher and role model by consistently exhibiting patience, concern, and respect for others.
· Avoid resorting to physical punishment, either on yourself or on others. You have the right to prohibit spanking even if you live in a jurisdiction where it is legal for teachers to administer it.
Teenagers and Preteens
· As your adolescent learns to make choices without you hovering over them, it’s important to strike a healthy balance between your unwavering love and support and firm expectations, rules, and boundaries.
· Give them lots of love and attention still. Create a habit of talking every day. Maintaining positive relationships with relatives increases the likelihood that teenagers will make wise lifestyle decisions.
· Acquaint yourself with your teen’s circle of friends and have open discussions about maintaining healthy and polite connections.
· Appreciate your adolescent’s efforts, successes, and failures. I applaud your decision to abstain from tobacco, electronic cigarettes, alcohol, and other substances. Role model responsible behavior when consuming alcoholic beverages and other drugs.
Setting firm boundaries with kids is crucial
Setting limit is important for disciplining your child. Read below that why setting limits while parenting is important and how it benefits for discipline.
Why Limits Need to Be Established With Children
When there is no written rule in the family, setting limits with children means providing a general code of conduct. Since it’s impossible to make rules for every possible circumstance, limits are the recommendations that must be made on the fly.
It’s possible that “Do not bang spoons on the table” is not a hard and fast rule at your office. If your child is slamming their spoon on the table and disrupting supper, you may need to tell them to stop.
Limits are difficult to set for a variety of reasons. It’s normal for parents to feel bad about having to say “no” Alternatively, they may be trying to prevent the inevitable meltdown that will occur if they set limits for the child. Of course, parents don’t always see eye to eye on how much discipline to give their children.
However, children benefit from having certain constraints placed on them. It provides children with opportunities to hone various talents and models proper behavior.
Children learn to exert control by working within constraints
The ability to self-regulate is developed via the practice of setting limits. Teaching self-discipline includes instructions like, “Shut off the video game and get to work.” Responsible gaming is still crucial, even if video games are increasingly enjoyable.
The long-term objective is for children to become self-sufficient in terms of managing their time and completing tasks such as schoolwork, chores, and personal hygiene without needing constant nagging.
Instruct your child in the art of self-restraint. Set a timer for five minutes in the morning and challenge a small child to “beat the timer” as he gets dressed. You might also offer a reward, such as allowing a youngster to watch TV after they finish their schoolwork.
Children are safer with restrictions in place
Setting boundaries teaches children to protect themselves. It is possible that your child can safely play outside, but he may still benefit from some restrictions on his freedom of movement and activities while outside.
Young children are protected from harm when they are limited in their internet use and when they are given more freedom to participate in other activities on their own. As your kid gets older, you can gradually raise the stakes.
Allow your youngster to demonstrate his ability to handle the restrictions you have set. They can demonstrate their readiness for greater responsibility if they can work within the parameters you’ve set.
Make a contract to regulate behavior to let your youngster see how you will know when to relax rules.
Children do better when they are given boundaries
Most children are naturally prone to acting on impulse and preferring instant rewards. Because of this, they require guidance from adults on how to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
As an example, a child’s eating habits should be subject to some constraints. Many children would subsist entirely on junk food if they were not restricted. For example, you could say, “You need to eat a healthy choice first” or “No, you can’t have a third cookie.”
Electronics are another area where boundaries should be drawn. Many young people today might happily spend their days doing nothing but watching television or playing video games.
Boundaries and rules provide children a sense of security and stability. Limiting one’s time in front of the TV, limiting one’s time spent exercising, and limiting one’s time spent not practicing good hygiene are all ways to promote a healthy lifestyle.
Setting boundaries teaches kids to manage their emotions
Because they fear their child’s reaction, some parents postpone enforcing rules. However, the ability to cope with negative feelings is a crucial life skill.
If your kid is upset because you won’t let them have a third cookie, that’s no reason to give in. Instead, it’s a wonderful chance to talk to your kid about their emotions and guide them toward healthier coping mechanisms.
Your child can practice self-control by working through their feelings in response to each of the constraints you place on them. Encourage them as they make an attempt to cope with negative emotions like anger, boredom, or melancholy, but don’t make it your job to change how they feel.
Rather, show them how to figure it out on their own. Children who learn to cope with negative emotions will be better prepared for life as an adult.
Kids need limits to know you care about them
Children frequently push adults’ buttons to see how they’ll react. When a parent intervenes after their child slaps their sibling, the kid may feel a sense of relief. Or, if your kid keeps jumping up and down on the couch despite your repeated warnings, they may just be observing how you handle authority.
Having no or few regulations in place might cause anxiety in children. Children do not desire to be in charge. They need you to demonstrate authority and expertise to reassure them that they can trust you to keep things under control.
By imposing penalties for rule violations, you demonstrate that you will not tolerate any chaos. It’s a great way to show your kid some affection, too!
On the surface, explaining to your kid that you’re imposing a curfew because you care about him or her can come out as annoying. However, if you are ready to put in the effort, your child will benefit from it, even if you have to put up with the occasional “you’re the meanest parent ever” comment.