How to Protect Your Kids from Bullying?: Know the Causes & Remedies
What Constitutes a Bully?
Someone who repeatedly picks fights with others, either verbally or physically, with the goal of inflicting pain, fear, or anguish is a bully. Bullying is harmful for everyone involved and can even inspire similar behavior in other students or classmates. Reasons for the bully’s hostility for the victim can range from simple curiosity to a desire to cause harm.
One reason children act out aggressively is that they are looking for attention from someone other than their parents. Children in such situations might range from those who have been neglected to those whose parents are regularly abusing drugs or alcohol.
Concerned about how they will cope with the “mean” teacher or the class bully, we send our children off to school praying for their safety and protection from all evil including bullying. But what should we do if our child is the target of bullying at school? We need to know what constitutes a bully if we are to teach our children not to be bullies.
As a culture, we tend to view bullies as sociopaths whose dysfunctional upbringing results in them lacking the problem-solving and coping skills essential to form healthy relationships with others. However, as we become older, we come to understand that bullies exist in all age groups and all walks of life. Bullies from disadvantaged socioeconomic origins sometimes resort to bullying tactics in an attempt to improve their social standing and ultimately, their position in the social hierarchy. A bully from a higher socioeconomic class, on the other hand, may resort to bullying tactics in order to keep from losing control of the group. It doesn’t matter what motivates a bully to bully, the motivation behind the bullying is the same: the bully wants power so that he or she can elevate his or her social status and exert influence over others for personal gain. There is an innate desire for control at the core of every bully.
Bullies of both sexes have the same purpose yet behave differently
Males engage in physical bullying at much higher rates than girls, according to studies. By physically harming others and damaging property, their bullying is unambiguous and straightforward. Social exclusion and isolation as a means of damaging one’s social status through the use of manipulation to influence one’s peers or peer groups is a form of relational aggression that is significantly more common among females than males, according to psychological research.
As we read these stories, memories of interactions with bullies in our adult lives flood in, or perhaps we shake our heads in embarrassment at times when we were the bully. Some of us may even consider our own kids and wonder if we’re producing future bullies. Nearly 40% of youngsters, predominantly brothers, are bullied more frequently at home than at school. How can we as parents use this data to keep our kid from growing up to be one of those kids that bullies others?
Why Children Engage in Bullying Behavior and What Parents Can Do About It?
Parents of school-aged children often report bullying as their primary worry. It is estimated that one in five students will experience bullying at some point during the school year, and this is supported by data from the National Bullying Prevention Center. Only about 20% of children in the tween age range (9-12 years old) say they have never experienced, witnessed, or participated in cyberbullying. Every parent prays their kid will never suffer bullying. Most significantly, parents worry that their child will join the ranks of the bully and seek knowledge about the phenomenon.
Both bullies and their victims are more likely to have negative mental and behavioral outcomes, such as anxiety, depression, substance misuse, sleep problems, poor academic performance, and school dropout. We often underestimate the destructive power of our words. Bullies and their victims are both at increased risk for self-harm and suicide as a result of bullying. Students who have experienced bullying also indicate that it has a detrimental impact on their self-esteem, social relationships, academic performance, and even their physical well-being. When compared to non-bullied children, those who are bullied are more than twice as likely to report feeling sick when no medical cause can be found. The majority of people complained of experiencing pain in their heads, stomachs, backs, or necks and shoulders. When someone’s physical health suffers, it can have a knock-on effect on their mental and behavioral health.
When raising a child, how can you make sure they don’t grow up to be a bully? It’s crucial to know what makes a bully and why kids sometimes resort to bullying.
What Motivates kids to Bully Others?
It might be challenging to identify the root causes of bullying in youngsters. It could be due to a combination of factors or a single cause. Children are very attuned to family dynamics and might pick up on subtle cues such as a lack of attention at home as an example of a potential cause. If their parents are divorcing or continually at odds with one another, the youngster may feel abandoned. Depending on the child, separation can be a very difficult experience. It’s possible that they’ll try various methods of becoming noticed.
In order to feel accepted at school, many people develop a need to exert control over their surroundings. One motivation for some bullying behavior is a desire on the part of a youngster to assume a position of power and authority in the classroom.
Because of the domino effect, children who are exposed to bullying or who have been bullied themselves are more likely to engage in bullying themselves. It’s important to remember that children might pick up on negative behaviors from their peers, including bullying. Bullying is a behavior that some young people exhibit in an effort to fit in socially. Some students may attend schools where such actions are ignored.
A major factor is the treatment of one another by siblings at home. A child’s behavior around other kids may change if he or she is bullied as a sibling. It’s a habit formed at home that follows them to school.
Physical characteristics, race/ethnicity, sex, disability, religion, and gender identity were cited most frequently by bullied students. For some young people, the failure to appreciate and respect the unique histories and perspectives of others is a major factor in their bullying behavior.
The question is, “What can you do to stop bullying?”
Victims of bullying often point to positive peer interactions as the most useful response to the problem. These may take the form of simply chatting to them, spending time with them, or assisting them in escaping a harmful environment. Furthermore, it is critical to take part in bullying prevention initiatives to stop these harmful behaviors from occurring in the classroom. Understanding what goes on in a child’s classroom can be challenging for any caregiver. If you want to keep your child from engaging in bullying behavior, consider the following tips:
Make sure your youngster is getting positive attention at home from you and any other children in the household
You should give your kid lots of positive reinforcement that focuses on his or her abilities and encourages a healthy sense of self-worth.
Your child will be less likely to act out against people who are different from them if you take the time to teach them about the distinctions between themselves and their peers.
Young children are still learning how to interact positively with others, so it’s important to set a good example. Parents should set an example of empathy and treat others with the respect and dignity they deserve.
Join anti-bullying initiatives and start talking to your kids early on about how to stop the problem
Help put an end to bullying in schools by talking to your kid about it now. Several groups, including Stomp Out Bullying and Stand for the Silent, are working to educate our youth about the nature and consequences of bullying.
Think about how we’re living and interacting at home
Kids pick up on our vibes. They learn from us that we will resort to using fear to achieve our goals. To achieve our goals with a partner, manipulating them is not only obvious to us, but also noticeable to them. Our kids watch us using aggression to get what we want when we get into it with the other team’s coach on the baseball field. While healthy sibling rivalry and competitiveness is important, it is not necessary for parents to compete with one another when it comes to their own children. Our homes are safe havens where our kids should feel loved and protected at all times. Kids need to know they are loved unconditionally, no matter what. If kids have a safe and supportive environment at home, they are less likely to seek it outside, among their peers.
Protect Children from Manipulation & Bullying
A bully’s best buddy is manipulation. Limits, guidelines, and expectations should be communicated to children from an early age. It might be challenging to achieve this goal, especially in families with both independent and submissive members. Children learn to push our buttons and figure out how to obtain what they want from us by the time they are toddlers and preschoolers. As parents, we can’t turn a blind eye to their manipulative behavior; rather, we need to take these abilities very seriously because they’re likely to be employed in future acts of bullying. When we give in to a toddler’s manipulation and let them get their way, we’re teaching them a valuable life skill. Exactly what is it that a bully hopes to accomplish? being granted their desires.
Equip your Kids against Bullying
It has been found that many bullies experience difficulties with emotions like anger, frustration, learning problems, anxiety, aggression, and impulsivity. It’s frustrating and disheartening to watch our kids struggle with these issues, but teaching them healthy outlets for their frustration can prevent them from developing into bullies in the future. We can provide our children a sense of safety and prevent them from feeling the need to bully others by constantly reinforcing the wonderful qualities they have and teaching them they are loved despite their struggles. Since insecurity has been identified as a major contributor to bullying behavior, it is imperative that we teach our children to accept their flaws and develop a healthy sense of self-confidence.
Engage in the Activities of Your Kids
Parents who are interested in their children’s learning are more inclined to see academic and social success, as well as high school graduation. One surefire method of teaching our children not to bully others is to remain actively involved in their life. This includes joining the PTA, knowing your child’s social media passwords, and getting to know their friends. Children are more likely to treat their peers with respect if they are raised in homes where both parents are actively involved.
Don’t Back the bully, Stop Being Bullied
When we find out that our children are engaging in bullying behavior, the greatest thing we can do to help them is to correct them. It can be quite upsetting for parents to consider the possibility that their child has problems with coping, anger, or violence. Our sweetheart may be harmless when we’re looking, yet behind our backs, he or she may be a master manipulator. Although we are our child’s only advocates, we should not justify these actions when they are brought to our attention but rather should be stern in addressing them. They say it takes a community to raise a child. Healthy, meaningful relationships can only be fostered when parents, teachers, and extended family members work together to view the whole child.
It’s true that there are some things outside the house that can have a profound impact on our children, but there are also many things inside the home that we can do something about that can make a world of a difference.
One thought on “How to Protect Your Kids from Bullying?: Know the Causes & Remedies”
Brilliant and practical insightful piece of paper